Keyshawn Johnson, 1st Pick in the 1996 NFL Draft
I think what happened here was that Keyshawn uses the same dry cleaners as Shaquille O’Neal and he picked up his suit on accident. The only reason to doubt this, though, is that the sleeves on that suit jacket would be like T-shirt sleeves on Shaq.
Joakim Noah, 13th Pick in the 2007 NBA Draft
You know what, that suit is almost bearable – even if it is a couple sizes too large. But then you add that foofy hair, gaudy bow tie, and the beaming grin of a child who’s forced to smile while taking a picture with grandma and we’re pretty sure that Joakim is channeling his inner clown.
Ashe Russell, 21st Pick in the 2015 MLB Draft
We can only hope that Ashe’s pitching skills are better than his dressing skills, because I’m pretty sure that that tie and shirt should never be mixed together unless you’re dressing as a candy cane for a Christmas party.
Henrik Lundqvist, 205th Pick in the 2000 NHL Draft
Ask any sports enthusiast today to list some of the best-dressed athletes (when they’re off the field, of course) and they’ll likely name Henrik among the top. And for good reason – he always employs some of the best tailors to create only the most dapper and suave outfits in existence. Back in 2000, however, he looked like he was showing up for his first day as a bank teller.
Jalen Rose, 13th Pick in the 1994 NBA Draft
Jalen’s earnest attempt at gangster swag was about the equivalent of attempting a shot from the opposite end of the court only to have it bounce off the backboard. Also, I’m pretty sure my grandpa owned a tie very similar to that one.
Samaki Walker, 9th Pick in the 1996 NBA Draft
There’s nothing wrong with the look of an all-white suit….if you’re a southern man on his way to church in the 1800s. Add on that bowler hat and Samaki looks good enough to sit on his porch with a lovely glass o’ lemonade.
Bryce Harper, 1st Pick in the 2010 MLB Draft
Bryce looks like a dude you’d see in a nightclub in an early 2000s sitcom who’s hitting on every hot girl and bragging to the guys how he’s totally crushing it.
Chuck Person, 4th Pick in the 1986 NBA Draft
Which one of these fine gentlemen is Chuck, you ask? Let’s go with the one in the middle….the one with the hot pink bow tie and cumberbun! Chuck would fit in well if he were playing in a jazz club (maybe), but wearing something like this to a draft? Ballsy.
Luther Wright, 18th Pick in the 1993 NBA Draft
This suit would be sure to make Colonel Mustard absolutely green with envy. Throw in that Jamaican flag tie and you have a real classy ensemble going on here.
Nico Colaluca, 6th Pick in the 2007 MLS Superdraft
I don’t know about you, but I think Nico was at least somewhat responsible for the death of plaid. The suit is fine, but you throw in that busy tie with that busy scarf and it begins to look like a Jackson Pollock painting.
2014 MLB Draft Class
While some of these players don’t look terrible, Jake Gatewood (end, left) is sporting his best 1940s bank owner look, while Derek Hill (end, right) desperately needs to change out of those Oxfords and get something that goes along with his business casual theme.
Drew Gooden, 4th Pick in the 1998 NBA Draft
If Shaquille O’Neal were playing the villain in the next James Bond film, this looks like just the kind of suit he’d wear. It’s just too bad Drew isn’t either one of those things, because then maybe a suit of this sort would actually make sense on him.
Carmelo Anthony, 3rd Pick in the 2003 NBA Draft
What is it about athletes and their over-sized suits? Are they a combination of rain slickers as well? Does every athlete go to the same tailor as Shaquille?
Amar’e Stoudemire, 9th Pick in the 2002 NBA Draft
The more you stare at this, the more it becomes pretty evident what’s going on here….Amar’e wanted to bring his entire family to the draft, but the NBA only issued him four passes. So rather than leave grandma at home, he found a way to stow someone inside his baggy suit.
Dante Fowler, Jr, 3rd Pick in the 2015 NFL Draft
Oh my. Where to start. How about those shoes….those glitzy, glittery, gold shoes with spikes. Yes, spikes. The white suit is fine, and the red edging gives it at least a hint of class, but are those two bow ties he has on?
Leonard Davis, 2nd Pick in the 2001 NFL Draft
Black pin-stripe suit: classy. Gold shirt and gold tie? Is Leonard starring in a Goldfinger remake or something?
LeBron James, 1st Pick in the 2003 NBA Draft
He’s one of the most suave athletes in the business now, but before he decided to become The King he was an aspiring actor attempting to land the role of Morgan Freeman’s character in Evan Almighty.
Emmitt Smith, 17th Pick in the 1994 NFL Draft
Bro, I know this was the ‘90s, but come on now. Let’s at least go for a style that doesn’t look like you’re about to go on a PBS show for toddlers.
Ladainian Tomlinson, 5th Pick in the 2001 NFL Draft
With all that satin, Ladainian could probably weave his own mirror. The jacket itself is classy, but that bright gold shirt on the equally bright tie just clashes too much.
Alex Bourret, 16th Pick in the 2005 NHL Draft
EVERYTHING about this whole ensemble is just plain wrong. The white khakis with the black dress shoes, the gaudy jersey, and….a pink shirt? Please tell me this guy isn’t as terrible at hockey as he is in dressing up.
Peja Stojakovic, 14th Pick in the 1996 NBA Draft
Typically when you attend something as career-altering as a draft, you don’t choose a suit that’s not only a couple sizes too large, but also looks like you just pulled it out of your duffel bag.
Donovan McNabb, 2nd Pick in the 1999 NFL Draft
Double breasted suits are pretty classy. But I think this takes it to a completely different level that it never should have gone to. I mean, what’s the point of wearing a shirt and tie if your jacket is going to completely cover it?
Aaron Curry, 4th Pick in the 2009 NFL Draft
Aaron looks like he’s attempting his best Silver Surfer cosplay. I little satin is stylish, but when your entire body is covered in it then there’s a definite fashion malfunction going on.
Chris Bosh, 4th Pick in the 2003 NBA Draft
This is what happens when you go to your tailor and tell them to base your pants style after trash bags.
Erick Dampier, 10th Pick in the 1996 NBA Draft
Subtlety isn’t a concept that Erick has a very large grasp on. A shirt of that color would have been a nice complement to more muted tones, but a jacket of that color requires sunglasses to look at.
Roy Williams, 7th Pick in the 2004 NFL Draft
Yellow is a bold enough statement, but yellow plaid with a matching tie? I think that’s called overconfidence. Unfortunately no one can pull off double yellow plaid.
Jason Kidd, 2nd Pick in the 1994 NBA Draft
The suit itself is pretty classy. But throw that African tribe print tie in there and it just disrupts the entire presentation.
Tim Thomas, 7th Pick in the 1997 NBA Draft
The baseball pin-stripe outfit look is bad enough, but when it’s triple the size and looks big enough for Smokey the Bear then that just means you clearly are in dire help of a fashion expert….or just someone who knows that frumpy doesn’t equal classy.
Drew Gooden, 4th Pick in the 2002 NBA Draft
Wow, that is a lot of turquoise. I’m pretty sure no human being should be allowed to adorn themselves in that much color of the same tone.